At work we've been obsessively listening to Queen (or maybe I'm the only one who has been listening obsessively) because one of the ladies' daughter will be performing Bohemian Rhapsody with her school choir on Friday. I can't stop thinking of Queen songs. I've tried to listen to other music, but it does not help with matters...
Agrhh! My aunt is having a Homemaker's Meeting in our living room and there are all these strange women giggling and exchanging polite conversation while all the while probably thinking very nasty things about one another and silently competing with each other in their heads. I'm afraid to go take a shower though I desperately need one...sometimes I feel that living here is like walking on eggshells.
I'm not really sure what I intend to find in California that does not exist here or anywhere else in the world, but I know that I was much happier when I lived there so I am just assuming that if I move back I will be happy again? That sounds bad, like I'm not happy here. I'm quasi-happy, which is something. It's better than being miserable, which I've spent plenty of time being. I just wish I had a secure avenue to finish school and get into the field that I wish to work in. Unfortunately I have no way of paying for school all at once and I continuously have to drop out. It's really discouraging, especially when all of my friends are about to graduate or already have. Kind of makes me feel incompetent actually...Not that I have too much control over the situation. I was born into a particular socio-economic group in our invisible caste system and moving upward is a hard deal. To move upward one must be educated and successful. So far I am neither. Well, depending on how you define success. I just want to do as much good as possible, because I am not sure if I'll ever get another chance, or if there is anything else to look foreward to in this existance.
All I want to do is ride my bicycle, dammit!
Leave, stupid women, leave! I need to shower!
Oh well...showering is overrated, as is freedom, money and happiness.
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bicycle...I'm just a poor boy from a poor family...
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