The month of August has been pretty amazing. LizO, my perpetual partner in crime, came to work on campus for family week and we mildly terrorized everyone (psychically, with Freaksha blessings) for two weeks. Then I decided to leave with her and stay at her parents' house in New Hampshire. So now Betsy and Wetsy are living out their karmic sibling debt to the earth, real-life twin sisters embodying their contrasting personalities.
We are attempting to create a daily spiritual practice for ourselves while building up the empire of absurdity, but from the very first day we were here we both became very disorganized and overwhelmed. Without the safety of the community I've lived in since mid-May and the familiarity of my tent I think I went into shock. Sleeping in a bed was way too much of a luxury! This has been quelled by my insistence on pushing through and finding out what all of these emotions that are coming up have to say to me. There's a lot of sadness at leaving the community but I made the decision based on a need to start making money. Now that I no longer have that security of money I thought I would have while here I have moments of panic, because I am pretty much as well off as I was when I started only without the familiar surroundings. I'm used to sudden and extreme change though. I made a lot of absurd and not so well thought out decisions for my life's path.
Last winter I decided to WWOOF in the Florida Keys, thinking it would be an amazing, transformative, fun experience. It certainly was transformative, but in the typical Betsy-esque fashion that my life seems to adhere to it was not even remotely fun. It was a challenge. Who would have thought that choosing to be in paradise could be so lonely and hellish. That decision made me realize that no matter what decisions I make for my life I am most likely going to end up going it alone. So even though Betsy and Wetsy are spending this time freaking out and erratically chanting in Julia Child voices, eventually we will have to part ways and go out on our own again. At least we have T-rex kundalini yoga...see our future videos for an explanation.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Consciousnessintostardust
A friend and member of the community was in a motorcycle accident this last Friday and due to injuries suffered from the accident he has had to have his left leg amputated from the knee down. Many of us have spent time crying and emoting over this, myself included, although my tears are not of sadness for his 'fate', but rather a releasing of the appreciation and happiness I have for this community who care for and hold one another through our struggles.
We are often assholes to each other, as family often are, but when it comes time to step up and be there many of us are able to be present.
I've been extremely sensitive to everything lately, energy and emotions, loud noises, excited people, large crowds...This has exacerbated my emotions about Charlie's accident and I can't handle hearing about him without crying, even though all of the reports are that he's doing well and in good spirits. Everything just feels a million times more intense to me right now and I'm remaining open to it and accepting it without judgement. Just observing and embracing it as a part of me. I also have incredible managers and co-workers who have held space and made arrangements for me to have the day off.
This all started last Monday when I woke up feeling like all of my energy channels were wide open and I was exhausted immediately upon waking up. I was exhausted the next day, and the third day I was incredibly sensitive to everything to the point where I could barely function. It has gotten more then less intense in various waves, depending on the hour and day and events. Today is a huge day of processing. I'm going to go to Tai Chi sword class later, make a card to send to Charlie at the hospital, do some intense journaling and processing, energy work, and relaxing. I don't think any of this would be available to me outside of here. I would have to have the balls to take it myself.
We are often assholes to each other, as family often are, but when it comes time to step up and be there many of us are able to be present.
I've been extremely sensitive to everything lately, energy and emotions, loud noises, excited people, large crowds...This has exacerbated my emotions about Charlie's accident and I can't handle hearing about him without crying, even though all of the reports are that he's doing well and in good spirits. Everything just feels a million times more intense to me right now and I'm remaining open to it and accepting it without judgement. Just observing and embracing it as a part of me. I also have incredible managers and co-workers who have held space and made arrangements for me to have the day off.
This all started last Monday when I woke up feeling like all of my energy channels were wide open and I was exhausted immediately upon waking up. I was exhausted the next day, and the third day I was incredibly sensitive to everything to the point where I could barely function. It has gotten more then less intense in various waves, depending on the hour and day and events. Today is a huge day of processing. I'm going to go to Tai Chi sword class later, make a card to send to Charlie at the hospital, do some intense journaling and processing, energy work, and relaxing. I don't think any of this would be available to me outside of here. I would have to have the balls to take it myself.
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