Fire, fire, fire!

Today I burned some old journals with my brother. As part of a declaration of transformation I am ridding myself of old burdens and starting anew. New tattoo, new journal, new state, new job, new adventure.

I'm leaving for Colorado tonight, with a layover in Chicago in which I will catch up with an old friend from my college days, then on to Glenwood Springs. Melissa is picking me up from the station in Colorado and we're going to soak in the hot springs before heading back down to Avon.

New year.

http://youtu.be/QHjgcE4YYsQ

I miss my K'naan music! He's a poet for the people.

strip away the layers and reveal your soul

Today I woke up feeling defeated. Every night since coming back home I have had strong emotional nightmares. Sometimes they are about being trapped somewhere I used to be, sometimes they are about a person I used to be friends with, other times I am awakened in the middle of the night with a paralyzing fear and worry, but cannot remember the nature of the dreams. Last night at around midnight my solar plexis area began to cramp up so badly it felt like I was being stabbed, and I could not sleep. It was painful to breathe and move much, but when I got up to walk around the pain seemed to subside. I drank a glass of milk, at something, and went back to sit in bed. Eventually I was able to sleep again. I woke up feeling tired both physically and mentally.

No matter how much I rest I am still exausted. I don't know if it is the grey winter weather or something more serious. I seem to go through this every time I come back to Ohio.

Not long after waking up I watched a video of a friend singing a song. It was a very beautiful and funny performance. After watching the video, however, I felt an overwhelming self-hatred toward myself for not being equally as beautiful, talented, and performance-oriented. Thankfully, my friend Mo came to the rescue with a link to her ridiculous youtube animated series, Roc and Mo. It cheered me up pretty quick, her sense of humor is subtle but insane. Here is a link to one of the videos:

http://youtu.be/0btZuGh4RmI

Good things on the horizen, I think.

Like a G-6

Let it be known that I don't actually know what 'like a g-6' means. Aside from my latest rampant obsession with dub-step music (don't ask, just accept) I've taken to daydreaming about large, colorful knitted sweaters. Like Cosby sweaters.

Have you ever just wanted to get on your bike and go? Just go start a business? I would sell mangoes...and Arby's sandwiches.

My cat has taken to my brother's discarded sweater vest. She is convinced that it is her new bed. None of us have the heart to move her, however, because she looks so darned adorable.



The End

It's 2012, Bitches!

One of my goals for 2012, I decided a few months ago, is to learn to play banjo. I've wanted to learn for a couple of years now but due to the expense of the actual banjo I've put it off. Today my friend Allison said she dreamt she was playing banjo last night, and that she thinks it's time to learn to play. She will be moving to Asheville, NC soon, home of banjo playin' and Appalachian music, and I can foresee us attending many a hootenany when I visit her. Asheville is kind of crunchy kid paradise, many aspire to end up there working on some organic farm or attending Warren Wilson. I wouldn't mind laying low in the Blue Ridge mountains, attending to Spirit Bear and the music.

Another of my goals is to ride an elephant at the Cleveland zoo this year. I would rather ride a giraffe, but apparently they don't allow that. I don't see why not. Giraffes seem better equipped to handle a saddle.

My little pink heart just exploded as I listened to this new song from Tinariwen:


Perfect way to bring in the new year.